Friday, August 12, 2011

Delicious Ways to Reduce Cholesterol With Out Drugs in Nutrition

Cholesterol is a wax-like substance that is present in the cell membranes of body tissues and is carried in the blood plasma. It is a sterol; a combination of alcohol and steroid and is also called atherosclerotic plaque. The body requires cholesterol in order to form and sustain cell membranes, help with the production of bile and aid the metabolism of fat soluble vitamins.

LDL and HDL Cholesterol

Over time, cholesterol builds up on the artery walls and this condition is known as atherosclerosis. Atherosclerosis was thought to be an affliction of the elderly until the 1950's when American pathologists were sent to Korea by the Pentagon to study the bodies of servicemen who died during the conflict. They autopsied around 2000 soldiers and found that approximately 75% had waxy, yellow deposits on the walls of their arteries; a shocking statistic considering the average age of the soldiers was 21. Their findings astonished the scientific community as it highlighted the onset of heart disease in the very young.

There are two different types of cholesterol; low-density lipoproteins (LDL) and high-density lipoproteins (HDL). HDL is commonly known as 'good' cholesterol and LDL is recognised as 'bad' cholesterol. LDL has been markedly linked with heart disease, whereas HDL is thought to reduce the chance of a heart attack. It has been estimated that approximately 25% of Americans are at risk from heart disease due to atherosclerosis, and around 10% have such high levels that doctors are left no choice than to prescribe cholesterol reducing drugs.

There are a number of foods which are believed to significantly lower LDL cholesterol. Fiber-rich foods are said to be particularly beneficial and will not only lower 'bad' cholesterol, but also help the bowel to function properly, lowering the risk of colon and bowel cancer. There are many other foods that can help the body fight back against these dangerous deposits.

Foods that Lower LDL Cholesterol

Fiber-rich foods, particularly oat bran, barley and wheat bran. They can be eaten as a cereal for breakfast and sprinkled onto other foods. Pearl barley can be added to soups. Apples and pears also have considerable amounts of soluble fiber and should be enjoyed on a daily basis

Beans and pulses are high in fiber and low-fat. They also contain lecithin, a nutrient that lowers cholesterol. Try to incorporate kidney, fava, borlotti and other dried whole-foods into your diet; there are many different types of lentils and pulses that are delicious in soups and stews

Avocado contains prolific amounts of monounsaturated fat, which helps to reduce LDL cholesterol and has many other health benefits including anti-cancer properties

hitake mushrooms are widely used by the Japanese and include a compound called lentinan, which not only lowers cholesterol, but is also thought to be anti-cancerous and may help to boost the immune system

Raw carrots are rich in a fiber called pectin that is renowned for minimizing cholesterol. There are a number of fruits that also contain pectin, including; apples, citrus fruits, strawberries, raspberries and other red or black berries

Garlic is a super food and is well known for its blood-thinning properties. It also contains a substance allicin which is thought to prevent the body retaining LDL cholesterol and research has shown that the equivalent of one clove per day can lessen 'bad' cholesterol by 10-15% in the majority of people

Root ginger has been used in Chinese medicine for centuries and has numerous health benefits. It can be added to stir-fry's (using healthy sesame oil) and other vegetable dishes

Nuts are naturally high in omega-3 fatty acids and are known to significantly reduce blood cholesterol; walnuts, pecans, hazelnuts and almonds are especially beneficial

Sesame seeds are rich in phytosterols. These compounds are said to substantially lessen LDL cholesterol. Other foods containing phytosterols include; celery, lettuce, asparagus, spinach, tomatoes, ginger, squash and strawberries

Salmon, tuna, sardines and mackerel contain considerable amounts of omega-3 fatty acids, which have many health benefits and are essential for brain and eye function.

Safflower, canola, soybean, and olive oil are monounsaturated and are an excellent source of omega-3 fatty acids. Research indicates that they can decrease atherosclerotic plaque by up to 15% when eaten regularly

Prunes are a wonderful source of antioxidants and fiber, which is known to reduce LDL cholesterol

f you have high cholesterol or a family tendency towards atherosclerosis it is best to avoid processed and prepared foods, fried food, food containing animal fats or animal products, high-fat dairy products and food containing either saturated fat or trans fats. Research has revealed the key to lowering LDL cholesterol is a healthy, balanced diet that incorporates plenty of soluble fiber and at least five portions of fruit or vegetables a day. This combined with regular cardiovascular exercise should help keep the heart healthy and provide numerous other health benefits as well.

Alfalfa sprouts contain a substance called saponin, which is thought to obstruct and inhibit the formation of atherosclerotic plaque in the arteries

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Stress trigger diseases?

Stress is defined as the non-specific response of the body to any demands made upon it. Everyday, in every walk of life, we come across stress. As much as people wish for a stress free life, such a task would be impossible to achieve. Stress is a part and parcel of our lives. Unfortunately, stress does not only produce discomfort, if ignored, it can lead to serious chronic illnesses. So what really happens when a person experiences chronic stress?

Our body goes through varies changes in its attempt to cope with stress. Let us examine the bodily processes. When we experiences stress in some part of the body, that part of the body sends a message to the brain via the nerves. Then it passes through the reticular activating system either from or to the limbic system or the thalamus. The limbic system is like the store house of our emotions, to which the thalamus acts like a trigger or a switch, determining what to do with the incoming signals sent by the body.

Thus, activating the hypothalamus, this in turn will activate the endocrine system and the autonomic nervous system. Another way in which the brains will response to a stressor is by
activating a part of the brain known as hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal system (HPA system). The HPA will activate the production and release of glucocorticolds i.e. steroid hormones, including the primary stress hormone crotisol. This hormone is very important in marshaling systems through out the body to deal quickly with the stress. When the body works to cope with stress, it produces some byproducts. If these byproducts of stress are not dealt with in a productive way, they result in all out physiological reactions or illness and diseases.

Lets us consider some illnesses and diseases. There are many diseases to which the mind makes the body susceptible. These diseases are known as psychosomatic diseases (psyche means mind; soma means body). Let us make this concept clear by an example; Jenny is a 45 year old
woman. Her husband passed away, leaving her depressed. Jenny's husband was a kind person and jenny felt it was not fair, and found it hard to cope with her husband's untimely death. A sense of helplessness came over her. Loneliness were her only companion now, there were people who where not surprised at jenny's death just one year after her husband passed away. They officially termed it as death due to heart attack, but to jenny's friends, it was known that
jenny died of a "broken heart". You may know a few people like jenny yourself, people who died or fell chronically ill from sever stress with practically little physically wrong with them. How many times we tell people "it's all in your head". In jenny's case, it was not all in her head.

Sometimes when we experience too much emotional stress it results in physical disease, such diseases are known as psychogenic diseases. In psychogenic diseases there is no invasion of disease producing virus or micro organism, the mind changes the physiology in such a way that it breaks down. On the other hand, diseases occur when the mind makes the body vulnerable to some diseases causing microbes or natural degenerative processes, this is known as a somatogenic disease such as cancer, or asthma, etc. There can be various diseases cause by stress. Let us look at a few specific conditions. One of the common diseases caused by stress is Hypertension. Hypertension also commonly known as high blood pressure is excessive and damaging pressure of the blood against the arterial walls of the blood vessels. If the blood produces too much pressure on the arterial walls, they will rupture. And the blood that was intended to reach a special location will not reach its goal. If the rupture is in the brain it can cause cerebral hemorrhage. Since blood pressure as well as the serum cholesterol increase during stress there relation between hypertension and stress has long been suspected. Emotional stress is usually a major cause of hypertension. Hypertension can be controlled
by medication, but sometimes drugs have their side effects.

These side effects with poor habits like smoking and alcoholism can be harmful. To deal with hypertension, alone with medication and improvement in life style, various stress management interventions like learning how to relax, perception interventions, etc. are also essential.
Apoplexy, commonly known as stroke is the lack of oxygen to the brain resulting from rupture or blockage of one of the arteries in the brain. Depending on the site of rupture, it could have its effects like paralysis, speech impairments, or even death may occur.

Strokes are related to hypertension, diet and stress. Another disease caused by stress is ulcers. Ulcers are cuts or fissures in the walls of the stomach, during chronic stress norepinphrine secretion causes capillaries in the stomach lining to constrict. This, in turn results in shutting down of the mucosal production which is the protective barrier for the lining in the stomach. When the barrier in the wall of the stomach is lost, the hydrochloric acid breaks down the tissue and sometimes even reaches the blood vessel causing a bleeding ulcer. However, it has been found that there are many other causes of ulcer.

Still, stress can exacerbate the conditions in the degenerative track to make ulcers more likely to occur. It can also act as a catalyst in the production of hydrochloric acid in the stomach.
Another painful disease caused by stress is Rheumatoid arthritis. It is the swelling and inflammation in various joints in the body which if continued in its development can be very painful. A normal joint has a synovial membrane. This membrane produces fluids which
lubricate the joints, in Rheumatoid arthritis, this membrane secretes excessive fluids. These fluids cause a swelling around the joint. If the development continues then these fluids penetrate into the bone as excessive fluids have no where else to expand, therefore they penetrate the bone. In the last stage it may harm the scar tissue with immobilizes the bone and can result in deformity. Sometimes rheumatoid arthritis is due to hereditary factors known as rheumatoid
factors.

When under chronic stress, it aggravates the development of this arthritis, especially for people who are prone to it. As seen above, if not paid attention to, stress can have lot of negative
consequences. Cancer, backache, TMJ syndrome, asthma, hey fever, tension headaches, migraine headaches and coronary heart diseases to name a few. Healthy stress is necessary to give direction to every individual's life. So don't go where life takes you, but take life where you are heading.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

5 Great Tips to Handle Stress in Stress Management

Stress has always been a part of our lives. In this hectic time, people lead an increasingly stressful life. Experts state that a little stress can be good; it keeps you sharp and ready to move forward, and is sometimes vital for achieving optimum performance. However, medical research has determined that prolonged stress is very bad for the body, and can block the body's natural ability to repair, regenerate and protect itself. Over 90% of disease is caused by stress. Stress is both a physical and psychological response. It can lead to chronic disease, obesity, insomnia, deteriorating relationships, depression, and more.

Stress is such a powerful and harmful force that it is vital that you learn effective stress management techniques to live a successful, happy, and healthy life. We must remember that we will always come across inevitable factors that cause pressure and anxiety on us. What we do not know is that it is not really the problems that are difficult to deal with, but our attitude towards them. So basically, the cause of stress is your attitude toward these things. What, then, is an effective way to deal with stressors?

Below are 5 great tips to handle stress.

1. Identify what makes you stressful and uneasy. Making a list of your stressful experiences is useful. Immediately deal with the issues that you can change, for instance waking up earlier for work in the morning, not leaving things till the last minute, and delegating tasks in case you are taking responsibility for everything. Forget about the issues that you cannot influence like being stuck in a traffic jam or not getting into the elevator because there is no room for you.

2. Calm down. A few minutes break would do you good. Wash your face, breath slowly and deeply, and notice if there is tension in any part of your body and release it. You can also listen to relaxing music, or call a friend. Releasing your inner feelings to a friend is healthy option.

3. It will pass and it will be over before you know it. Remind yourself that the stressful event will end sooner or later can make you see the positive sides of things. At the same time, calm down your emotions and think of what is the best thing to do rather than take your energy away from what needs to be done.

4. Know yourself. Ask yourself: What triggers your anxiety? If for example it is your job, then maybe it's time for you to reconsider whether it would be best to find a less stressful job. You can also make your job more tolerable by allowing yourself to get that needed vacation or leave.

5. Learn to use your relaxation response. Just as we all have within us the stress response, we also have an opposite response, which is the relaxation response. A person should elicit that on a regular basis. The relaxation response involves two steps. Repetition, the repetition can be a word, a sound, an expression, or a repetitive movement. The second step is to ignore other thoughts that come to your mind while you're doing the repetition, and come back to the repetition. The technique should be used once or twice a day for about 15 minutes. Sit quietly and choose a suitable repetition, like a prayer, the sound Om, or the word love, or calm. Or you can do a repetitive exercise, for instance yoga, jogging, Reiki. Additional repetitive activities are knitting or handicraft. When you incorporate this into your everyday life, you become calmer and better able to handle the stressors. Practice makes perfect and the more you practice relax your mind, the easier it gets.

The true causes of stress are not the problems or negative experiences that you encounter in your life; but your attitude toward them. So, the trick is to change your attitude and to develop a relaxed state, because you cannot be stressed and relaxed at the same time. It is important to understand that what we focus on, we energize. The more you continue to think about the factors that cause your stress, the more energy you give it. So it is vital to let go and focus on relaxation instead. Consequently, you're less likely to be upset by a stressor, and thus less likely to have its harmful effect occur. Eventually, it is your choice. You could either continue to react in the same stressful way, or you could choose to improve your life by changing your attitude and becoming relaxed. There's no other way around it.

Sun and Moon Tattoos - Meanings and Ideas For Tattoo Styles

Sun and Moon Tattoos - Meanings and Ideas For Tattoo Styles These images of splendor have been utilised by tattoo artists to inspire self expression even though producing every butterfly a symbol of enjoy, expansion and adjust. Butterflies are extraordinary creatures and due to the fact of this, tribal butterfly tattoo styles have turn into really favorite.

The tattoo illustrators have intended many unique tattoos based mostly on the preliminary options of what these butterflies must seem like. Then they have extra brighter hues and far more hugely defined lines to give them a look that says individuality. Gals who decided to get this type of tattoo felt that it adds not only to their attractiveness, but to their temperament, generating them far more fascinating, a lot more concentrated and one of a kind. People opt for on the thigh, again of the neck or even the upper arm.

The essential thing is to place it where by you are positive you can appreciate it for years to arrive. There is just anything about sun and moon tattoos that attract the two the male and female tat lovers to have them proudly inked on their human body. Must be the which means alone, or maybe the vivid shades or it's possible the sunny disposition it can exude. No matter the motive may well be, this form of tat concept will undoubtedly proceed to be brought to existence on human canvasses by talented tattoo artists of any era.

The sun and moon, even before becoming a standard merchandise witnessed on entire body artwork, have usually played a role in imagery. For quite a few cultures close to the planet, the sun is the epitome of male vitality, light and warmth although the moon is the image of feminine mystery and creation. When mixed as a design, they are seen as a union of two opposites coming with each other as an individual to create harmony and stability. They are representation of the twin sides of humanity that are essential in buy to accomplish stability and stability.

These two wonderful symbols are the two symbolic of loss of life and rebirth. The sun has its each day growing and setting when the moon has its month to month waxing and waning. It is the sun's vitality that can warm the earth and will cause the crops to ripen when its the moon's gravity that can influence the waters and handle the movement of tides. In truth, these two things work collectively to place all in stability and excellent harmony. Sun and moon tattoos can be executed in a total lot of methods from bright to vivid shades to total black ink in thick or skinny lines.

They can be performed as the basic sun and moon tattoo or they can be inked in comprehensive lines and drawings. They can also be mixed with other factors this sort of as stars, flowers, tribal lines and zodiac symbols When it comes to areas of sun and moon tattoos, they can be ideal tattooed on the nape or back again of neck, upper back again, chest, arm, feet, reduced abdomen, hip or lower back. With the terrific representation that this tattoo design and style have, you must not waste these kinds of a likely picture for creative tat piece. Uncover a appropriate spot to get your tat picture and discuss every thing with your tattoo artist.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Why Do We Hurt Those We Love Most And How To Stop This

You love each other but can't manage to communicate without arguing, fighting and ending up exhausted, each one in his corner, trying to lick his wounds and thinking of how to protect one self against a new attack. And in spite of that…you love each other? How is this possible? Why do people hurt most those they love?

How come we can't express our love? How come we are full of good intentions but when it comes to reality we find ourselves again shouting and blaming the other one. And then that monster of guilt jumps out of nowhere to our throat to strangle us once again.

How to stop this infernal behavior?

First let me explain why this happens.

We all need energy. We need energy to live and to survive. Energy comes in many forms : love, attention, interest, food, friendship, money, approval, recognition…

We all need this to feel good, to build our personality and to find our place in society.

But here it is : as long as we think this energy has to come from other human beings, we will get caught up in struggle. Because human energy is limited. We have to fight for it. Human energy doesn't last. There isn't enough of it. So we have to be the quickest, the smartest, the most beautiful one, to attract the attention from the other and to pull his energy.

If this doesn't work, we try another strategy. We try to pull attention by negative behavior. Every child learns this very quickly in his early life : when he is playing quietly on the floor with his toys, mum goes on cooking dinner or talking with daddy. But as soon as the kid hurts his little sister or is playing "sick", mums hurries to give attention to him. She shouts maybe, she's angry or worried, but no matter, all this is attention for the child! He learns very quickly which behavior gives him the greatest amount of attention and energy. When his mother or father looks at him, even angry, it still is energy coming his way! When they shout at him, they give him energy. Negative energy, alright, but it is better than no energy at all.

When we grow up, and start to date, we discover a very interesting phenomenon : when we fall in love, we receive a lot of energy (read : attention, interest, time, love etc.) for free. The other person gives us freely and abundantly a whole bunch of energy. We don't even have to ask for it, we don't need to apply any strategy to pick this energy, it's all for free! We let go of our mechanism to pull the energy of others towards us. We loosen up. We "fall" in love. We almost literally fly. We are high! Everything seems to have more colour, is more vivid, we feel lighter, life seems easy, everything goes by itself, we have the feeling we love everybody and everything, even our grunchy boss! Nothing can hurt us, we feel safe and boosted with energy. But this is his or her energy! We are flying on someone else's energy, and human energy is limited!

And that is exactly the problem! This stream of free energy begins to slow down, because the other one goes back to his business and activities he had before. Why? The body is not able to handle this amount of adrenaline for a long period of time, they say… but the real reason is we need to learn to pull our energy from somewhere else, not from a human being but from the source of energy itself.

So our lover gives us less free energy than before. We were used to this energy-flow and now we have to do it again by ourselves! Free energy is so much easier! We don't have to do any effort to get it! And now we are getting less of this free energy, we don't want to let this happen. At this moment our old childhood-system of capturing energy is triggered because of the scarcity of energy (there is an alarm inside us that says : "Danger! Lack of energy!") and the old mechanism to capture energy from others starts running in our head and in our behavior. The mechanism that worked when we were a child to get the energy of our parents, will be triggered by the lack of energy now. We do what we did as a child to get energy flowing our way.

We can do this by playing the victim ("Oh poor me, look at all that I do and nobody is grateful! Look how good I am and still life strikes me with disapproval, disease and misery! Oh oh oh!"). Or we get attention by being aggressive, shouting and trying to dominate the other one. A third mechanism is harassing the other one by asking too many questions and controlling him. A fourth system is playing silence, refusing contact, not to speak and not to react, so the other one will do whatever he can to get in contact with you again and this will give you his energy.

These systems will of course make the energy of the other one flowing your way. But what next? The other one is now low on energy and wants to get his energy back. So now his mechanism is triggered by his lack of energy. He will now use the system that assured him the energy of his parents when he was little, to get his energy back from you. He will either shout at you, either playing the poor one that didn't deserve your treatment, either torture you with a bunch of questions, or refuse contact.

This explains why we hurt the ones we love. First reason is we want their energy, energy they gave once for free. We hurt our loved onces most because they gave us love and energy and attention for free in the beginning and now we have to do it on our own and we are angry and want get back to them. We think we are entitled to have their energy still for free and start our mechanism to get it. Second reason we hurt them most is because of convenience : they are always around, their energy is available so when we are low on energy we try to rip their energy off, and hurt them by doing that.

Stealing energy from another human being is hurting him.

What can we do about this? We should only be in contact with other people when we are sure to be already filled up with energy, so we won't steal theirs. When we are full of energy, and conscious of what happens between people, we can give the other one energy instead of ripping him off. We should not meet each other when we are low on energy. It's the responsibility of each and every person to generate energy by himself and not to depend on other people.

How to do that? By connecting to the energy that is always available. That is the energy of the Universe. The easiest way to connect to this energy is contemplate the beauty of a flower. You also can contemplate the beauty of an object or a person. You can listen to beautiful music, take a walk in nature, meditate, pray, dance, paint, read positive texts, work on your mission on earth, love your cat or dog, anything that gives you energy.

Make a list of every activity and behavior that increases your energy level. As soon as you feel you're in a conflict with your partner, boss, child, parent or whoever, do something to get yourself together and raise your energy. Don't say anything until your energy-level is again high enough to be able to send energy to the other one. By sending energy, you are sure not to steal energy from the other one. This is an act of love. If you are not able to get your energy level any higher, go to another place, do something for you and wait until your vibrations are high enough to meet the other one again.

The important thing in a relationship is not to make the other happy or to expect the other one to make you happy, but to make yourself happy and offer this happiness as a free gift to the other!

Loving another human being is giving him energy!
See the difference? Do you want to love your loved ones or steal their energy?

Sunday, August 7, 2011

The Good Life- Happiness

I was listening to the MSNBC on the radio the other day when a feature came on entitled, 'The Good Life'. They proceeded to discuss a $14,000 dessert being offered in Sri Lanka that included, amongst other things, an aquamarine. No kidding. This is how MSNBC characterizes the good life. It struck me how in our culture we define the good life more in terms of the consumption of material goods than in relationship to any other quality.

Simply listen to the vast majority of contemporary music on the airwaves these days for confirmation. I have two teenagers in my house so I know all too well: Cristal champagne, expensive cars, first class jet airline seats, bling…the list goes on and on. This is what our kids are being taught: the good life is about having things, not about who you are as a human being. Where are these values coming from? I believe it is a trickle down effect from what they see being honored in our society.

So if the good life is about having things, how is it that so many people who have so many things have lives that lack so much satisfaction and meaning? I am not saying that having money is not a good thing, quite the contrary. We all need financial security. We need to know that we can provide for our families and be free of the pressure of struggling to make ends meet. We all want to live a comfortable life. But where is the point of no return?

"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted."
Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955), (attributed)

The Worldwide Institute in its 2004 State of the World report explains:

Societies focused on well being involved more interaction with family, friends, and neighbors, a more direct experience of nature, and more attention to finding fulfillment and creative expression than in accumulating goods. They emphasize lifestyles that avoid abusing your own health, other people, or the natural world. In short, they yield a deeper sense of satisfaction with life than many people report experiencing today.

What provides for a satisfying life?

In recent years, psychologists studying measures of life satisfaction have largely confirmed the old adage that money can't buy happiness-at least not for people who are already affluent. The disconnection between money and happiness in wealthy countries is perhaps most clearly illustrated when growth in income in industrial countries is plotted against levels of happiness. In the United States, for example, the average person's income more than doubled between 1957 and 2002, yet the share of people reporting themselves to be "very happy" over that period remained static.

So if growth in income has not made people happier than obviously they are not living the good life. In order to clarify what the good life is, I do an exercise with clients that involves seeing
themselves at some distant point in the future where they are finally who they want to be, they have what they want to have and are deeply satisfied and happy. In other words, they have achieved the 'Good Life'.

Nearly one hundred percent of the time, without fail, clients do not have visions of extreme wealth. They really don't talk about wealth at all, at least not in terms of money or possessions. They do not talk about living in a house with every known convenience and luxury.
They do talk about a home located in a beautiful setting, perhaps by the ocean or on a lake in the mountains. There is always talk about a place that gives them a feeling of peace and serenity…a place they were meant to be.

They never discuss possessions…ever. No talk of cars, televisions or fancy clothes. It just never comes up. They may mention that they are free to travel but certainly they do not say first class.
They describe themselves as a person who no longer fights feelings of depression, dissatisfaction or dissonance in their lives. They speak of a feeling of acceptance of what is. There is love in their lives although they don't necessarily mention a specific mate. Just love. There is discussion of deep wisdom accumulated over the years. There is also talk of being surrounded by the people who they hold dear.

Often, if they have children, they will say that they are happy that they have been able to help their kids but more often is the description of children who have grown into responsible, loving and fulfilled human beings. They describe with pride children who are contributors to the world. I hear about pets in the house and perhaps grandchildren. These are folks who have discovered what truly has meaning for them and what they really value.

"Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the
achievement of one's values."
-Ayn Rand (1905 - 1982)

Values : What are the things to which you attach value? What is important to you?
If you had to create a list of the top five things that you value, what would they be? Would it be money, possessions, power, stature and authority? Would it be love, family, integrity,
freedom and compassion? Or a combination?

"Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value."
--Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

We have all heard the adage about what the epitaph on our tombstone will say or not say. Will it say that she had a powerful job, she flew first class, that she had a Mercedes-Benz and wore only couture? More often you will read on a tombstone that she was a loving Mother and Wife, a charitable person and an outstanding member of the community. Think about how you would like to be remembered? What would you like to hear people say about you at your funeral or
memorial? Will it be on how much money you made or how much you consumed? Doubtful.

I remember the funeral of a very dear friend who died suddenly while he was still in his fifties. The Rabbi said that all we have in the end is our good name. Who we were, how we lived, how we loved, our empathy and compassion, service to the world we lived in and the legacy we left to our children and their children.

My own personal take on the good life, at least for me, involves the following: I want to be a person who possesses a deep appreciation for everything that I have: to be grateful. I want to be able to live without the fear of not being able to take care of my kids and myself and yes, I do want to live well. Living well for me is a lovely home in nature; it is being free to travel; it is having the ability to help my kids get a good start in their adult lives; it is having enough money to be able to take good care of myself and to also be charitable. I want to have a life that is filled with meaning, with a deep connection to the world around me.

What is your Good Life?

Take the time now to give thought to the life that you want to live, the life that you would describe as the Good Life. Make certain that it is aligned with your values and your passions and to so you must connect with your values and passions.

What are they?

Think long and hard about what brings you real joy and fulfillment. Remember those times in your life when you were the happiest…what resonated for you in those moments? Consider how you want to be remembered, how you want to look in your children's eyes. What traits do you admire in others and how can you adopt some of those traits? What have been peak experiences in your life and what was it about those experiences that made them so special?

These are the kind of questions that beg our attention. These are the questions that will ultimately lead us to the Good Life. Not the $14,000 dessert but a life well lived. With meaning, love, comfort, joy and fulfillment.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Tips for facing customers in Business

Top 7 Things You Must Know Before Dealing with Your Next Difficult Customer
1. Anger precludes rationality.

Angry customers simply cannot rationalize. This is because they are

so wrapped up in the emotion of anger that everything you say is filtered through their emotions. Anger is an emotion and emotions are experienced in the right side of the brain. Rationalizing, problem solving, listening, and negotiating are all left-brain activities and
your angry customer is stuck in the right side of the brain, and therefore cannot be expected to rationalize with you.

2. Anger must be acknowledged.

It's not productive for you to ignore anger or tiptoe around it. There is something known as the communication chain. When people communicate, they expect the person or persons they are communicating with to respond or react…this response or reaction is a link in the
communication chain. A failure to respond to communication leaves the communication chain unlinked…broken.

For example, If I walk into my office and say... "Hello Sherry, how are you?" ....and she says absolutely nothing, she's broken the communication chain. And that leaves me feeling awkward, perhaps embarrassed. If a customer expresses anger and we fail to respond to it, the communication chain is broken and the customer feels like they are not getting through, that you are not listening. So, the customer may speak louder to make his or her point.

They might become even angrier and more difficult, as they are resorting to whatever it takes to feel heard and understood. You can keep your angry customers from getting angrier by acknowledging their anger and responding to it. You can respond to anger with a statement like, "Clearly you're upset and I want you to know that getting to the bottom of this is just as
important to me as it is to you." This statement directly and professionally addresses anger – without- making the customer even angrier. Now that the anger has been acknowledged, you have completed the communication chain.

3. First, diffuse anger.

Research has shown that an approach to problem solving that emphasizes anger diffusion first results in a lesser payout by the company. If you first work to diffuse anger and then move into problem solving, you will find that communication is much easier/because your customer is able to really listen to you.

Problem resolution is now possible because your customer is calm and in the position to rationalize. Beginning the problem solving process before addressing and diffusing anger makes your job much harder because your customer is emotional and not able to fully rationalize.

If you do attempt to solve the problem or negotiate, you will almost always have to offer more to satisfy the customer than you would if you had successfully first diffused anger. Now that you know that anger precludes rationality and that anger has to be responded to, make sure you don't ignore the customer's expression of anger and that you always work to diffuse anger and
create calm before beginning the problem resolution process. When you do this, you'll quickly find yourself responding to anger with much more ease and confidence.

4. The issue is not the issue.

In conflict situations, the issue at hand is not usually the "real" issue. The way the issue is handled becomes the real issue. What really matters to customers is not the $2 overcharge or the fact their order for cranberry red paint is actually holly berry red. What does matter is how the company responds and resolves the issue. That becomes the real issue.

5. Ventilation is crucial.

An Angry customer can be compared to an erupting volcano. When a volcano is erupting, there is nothing you can do about it. You can't speed up the eruption, you can't put a lid on it, and you cannot direct or redirect it…it must erupt. When a customer is angry, they must experience and express their anger…through venting. We should not interrupt them or tell them to "calm down." This would be as futile as trying to tame a volcano. A volcano erupts and eventually subsides. Your angry customer will vent and eventually calm down.

6. An apology works.

An apology makes the angry customer feel heard and understood. It diffuses and anger and allows you to begin to re-establish trust. Not only that, but pilot studies have found that the mere act of apologizing has reduced lawsuits, settlement, and defense costs. You need to apologize to customers regardless of fault. Certainly, the apology needs to be carefully worded. Here's an example of a sincere, yet careful apology:

"Please accept my sincere and unreserved apology for any inconvenience this may have caused you."

7. You cannot win an argument with a customer.

Certainly, you can prove your point and even have the last word. You may be right, but as far as changing your customer's mind is concerned, you will probably be just as futile as if YOU were wrong. Your goal in complaint situations is to retain the customer, not to be right. If you win the argument, you may very well have lost the customer.

The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. When you're dealing with angry customers, make sure you acknowledge
their anger, allow the customer to vent, and carefully handle the issue with diplomacy and tact. When you do, you'll find that diffusing anger is much easier and you'll significantly reduce your
stress level.

When you're dealing with angry customers, make sure you acknowledge their anger, allow the customer to vent, and carefully handle the issue with diplomacy and tact. When you do, you'll find that diffusing anger is much easier and you'll significantly reduce your stress level.